Why blog?

The short answer is that I love to write. Yesterday, I found an old Winnie the Pooh journal of mine from approximately 1993. Fears, dreams, random lists and sketches filled the pages in my scratchy 9 year old handwriting. Writing (on paper, on the computer, in my head) has been the solace, the redemption, the fulfilled need of mine for nearly 25 years. From the moment I could write I recorded my thoughts. And I’ve dabbled in blogging before, mostly in an attempt to copy the formulaic mommy blog into something financially lucrative for me. And you know what? It never felt right, and it never lasted. I wrote for a time for a well-known mommy website and blog. It filled a need of mine, but eventually that need evaporated. The reason being?

I’m a selfish writer, and I am completely unable to write content to please others. These erratic thoughts of mine? I unabashedly love them, want to pull them out of my head and create a word picture with them. But that is not the way of the blogging world these days, at least for most. So I stopped writing for over a year. But I’ve felt a nagging tug on my heart and mind to let go of the vision of perfect blogs and write for the love of it.

I can’t promise a focused topic to meet a niche market. I won’t sneak ads up and down the sides or write sponsored posts (not that I would know how anyway.) But I can promise clean, honest writing from the soul of a thinker, mother, teacher, and friend. If you crave reading and learning for your own growth and love of life, then perhaps we’ll get along.

And as this mothering life comes full-circle, I ripped out the aged, word-soaked pages of my old journal and gave the new blank book to my daughter. She may not be able to write just yet, but I cannot think of a better gift than a shared passion for writing. In the meantime, that sweet, decades old journal will wait patiently to record the thoughts of the next generation.

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take it in, but then let it go

Nearly three decades in, and I’m still not sure who I want to be when I grow up. Having a third of my life crisis seems apropos in the same year that I gave birth to my second daughter. Fretting about poor past decisions and worrying about the future could indeed clutter up the few months I have remaining until I turn 30. I could create a bucket list to complete these last 180 odd days. But I won’t.

Not because I’m lazy or unmotivated (although it certainly is an excuse with a 3 month old and a 3 year old,) but because I crave simplicity and unabashed acceptance. Accepting who I am, where I am, and why I have done what I have done is a difficult task indeed. It requires a careful inventory of my dreams, my failures, and my hopes. But once I’ve gathered this imaginary list, it is time to let it go.

One of the tools of the minimalist movement that I hold dear is the idea that a simple life removes both physical and emotional baggage. I cannot embrace the future me if my mental suitcases are full.

And so like the tiny dandelion wisps my daughter blows into the wind, I let go. Let go of wanting different, wanting more, wanting less, just constant wanting. Instead, I’ll focus on creating a more intentional and hopeful world with my family as I enter this next phase of my life.

This is my journey, will you join me?

making this home in OKC

After several years of place-hopping and cross-country moves, we settled into our first purchased home ten days before Christmas in 2012. I wrote about the anticipation and excitement of our new home in the past. And friends, let me tell you that this home has not disappointed.  We’re infatuated with our neighborhood, which is nestled in the heart of OKC and has introduced us to small city life. We’ve marked this home as ours with new paint and decorating, and we’ve claimed the backyard with its three large raised garden beds.

And this home is the only one that our newest baby girl has ever known, an unfulfilled desire that unfortunately our oldest never experienced. Bringing her home to this house felt so right and confirmed that moving back to OKC in 2012 was the right decision. So here we are, roots placed and all. Sure, I sometimes miss my family and feel the temptation to pull anchor and run north. But the sweetness of this simple family life in a small city we love always pulls me back.

And Oklahoma City? You may not be cosmopolitan like NYC or walkable like Boston, but you wooed us with your friendly charm and desire to be bigger and better. We’re jumping on that bandwagon and committed to living a local life, one that supports the hearts and hands that make this city great. 

Two years, two new jobs, and one new baby later, I’m so grateful we moved back to Oklahoma City.